Boundary setting
What is a boundary? do I have poor boundaries? how is this impacting me? how do i fix it?
Do you feel you have lost your voice?
Do you worry too much about what other’s think of you?
Do you struggle to communicate how you feel?
Do you over share personal details about your life?
Do people take advantage of you?
Does it feel like no one listens to you?
Do some people make you feel emotionally drained?
Do you put other’s needs above your own?
Does your life feel chaotic?
Is your mental heath suffering?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, it may be time to rethink how you are setting your personal and emotional boundaries. Ask yourself is this impacting my mental health and well-being?
Personal boundaries are essential for maintaining a healthy psychological function. Boundaries set limits for what we are willing to tolerate, both physically and emotionally. They allow us to maintain a sense of control over our lives and to protect ourselves from negative influences. Without boundaries, we may find ourselves overwhelmed or drained by the demands of others. This can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. Establishing boundaries takes practice, but it is worth the effort. By learning to set limits and communicate them effectively, we can improve our relationships, reduce our stress levels, and safeguard our mental health.
Let’s break it down….
1. Protects individual space: Personal boundaries help individuals to define their physical and emotional space, which prevents others from encroaching on it without their permission.
2. Promotes healthy relationships: Personal boundaries help to establish healthy relationships by creating mutual respect and understanding between individuals.
3. Improves emotional health: Personal boundaries can help individuals deal with emotional issues like anxiety, depression, and stress. It can also improve self-esteem and confidence.
4. Prevents exploitation by others: Personal boundaries help to prevent exploitation and abuse by others, as it allows individuals to say "no" to requests or demands that they are not comfortable with.
5. Enhances self-awareness: Personal boundaries encourage individuals to self-reflect and become more aware of their inner needs and limits. This increased insight can lead to personal growth and development.
When we define our boundaries, we clearly communicate what we are and aren't comfortable with, which helps us establish healthy relationships. Setting boundaries allows us to prioritise self-care, respect ourselves, and confidently express our needs. Developing healthy boundaries is an ongoing process, but it is one of the most crucial steps toward self-improvement and mental wellness.
exmaples of what is and is not a boundary:
A boundary is:
Communicating what you do and do not feel comfortable with.
Communicating what you willing to and not willing to do.
Standing up for your values.
Could be physical or emotional.
Different between relationships.
Changeable.
Power to protect your well-being and peace.
Consciously avoiding situations/people what can be triggering for you.
Taking actions to remain balanced.
Communicating actions you will take or how you will respond to certain situations.
A boundary is NOT:
Giving someone an ultimatum.
‘Stonewalling’ without warning or explanation.
Asking someone to change their behaviour.
Boundaries are not demands.
Where Do I start with setting boundaries?
See a psychologist: Often there are underlying factors that may need to be discussed/unpacked to understand why you haven’t been able to establish good personal boundaries. This can be difficult to work through on your own; a psychologist can help you gain understanding and work through what boundary setting might look like for you.
Know your values: knowing what is important to you and your personal values can help you establish your boundaries.
Communication: communicating clearly to explain how you feel. Use “I” statements and give examples.
Stick to it: When starting to reinforce boundary setting with those around us we may face challenges. It is important to continue to stand by your beliefs. Sticking with your boundaries gives you power back to protect your well-being and peace.
Know your self worth: Setting your boundaries take courage and will help to build self-confidence over time.
Think “protection”: Setting good personal boundaries with those around us (and ourselves) is an important way to protect our emotional and spiritual energy. Using a mindset shift and labelling boundaries and a protective factor can help us enforce them.
If this is post that has resonated with you and you feel you need support please reach out to BOOK A SESSION with me. Please share this post to someone you know if it has been helpful.
